True Story #3: Kindermusic and Me

I went to Greensboro this past Monday and Tuesday to hang with my sister (Ashley), brother-in-law (Bill) and twin niece (Gray) and nephew (Liam). We always have a great time when we are together, taking part in the simple things life has to offer. Conversation, morning coffee, three to five well balanced meals a day, laughter, 7 cold Cokes before lunch and sometimes 7 after, smoking hand rolled Cuban cigars from Mexico (don't ask because I don't get it either, all I know is that they were a gift from my mom from her trip to Mexico and were the best cigars Bill and I had ever smoked, in other words, they didn't singe your esophagus. Good score mom!!), and playing with two kids who give a new meaning the the word energy. As a matter of fact, I looked up the word energy in the latest edition of Webster's Dictionary and it had a picture of the both of them base jumping the Grand Canyon and they are only two years old, wild! Anyway, they are each taking a summer class and I had the privilege to attend both. Gray is taking Tumblebees, where she is quickly gaining confidence in the art of trampoline jumping and climbing, while slowly preparing for the Junior Olympics, and Liam is taking Kindermusic, where he is singing songs about bees, butterflies, frogs and such, while dancing the jig around other kids and their mom's. This brings me to the meat and potatoes of my story. Monday evening I rode with Bill and Liam and to participate in this thing called Kindermusic. I will admit, I was excited to see what Liam was learning and feel the whole Kindermusic vibe. We walked in to see all of the kids and their mom's sitting in a circle, we were the last to arrive. Bill quickly introduced me as Uncle Seth to avoid any confusion and we promptly sat down. I was going to sit in the corner and watch, but the teacher was like "come on over and sit down, it doesn't matter whether you can sing or not, it only matters that the kids see you participating" I replied jokingly, "I will take the harmonies". She didn't laugh. No one did actually. Yeah, I am pretty sure I was the only one. So I sit down realizing I am without kid. "That's cool" I thought, "I am comfortable enough with myself to do this". We started singing and dancing and clapping and holding hands with strangers to form a beehive, so the kids could escape and freak out on paper flowers taped to the wall just like real bees, you know the normal Kindermusic stuff. Well about three songs in, Bill and Liam got up to use the restroom and didn't return as quickly as I had thought, which left me in the Kindercircle with teacher, moms and kids, clapping my hands and knees, stomping my feet, and singing a nature song, all the while without kid. "A once in a lifetime experience", I thought, "that if I had to guess has never been experience by anyone ever". Lucky me!! :) The forever trend setter. Kindermusic for childless adults. I can see it now. It was cool though, Bill and Liam came back and we had a blast. Liam was so excited to be in the class and I like to think he was even more excited that his Uncle Seth was there with him and daddy the whole time. Maybe next summer I can enroll in a class of my own. I already know the songs. :)

Last 5 movies :)

Say Anything (1989): Cameron Crowe's directorial debut and yet another movie showing the genius of John Cusack.

Chinatown (1974): A Film Noir directed by Roman Polanski and starring Jack Nicholson and Faye Dunaway. All ingredients for pure genius.

The Motorcycle Diaries (2004): Just watch it and be amazed.

Knocked Up (2007): The latest from comic genius Judd Apatow and an absolute riot (funnier than The 40 Year Old Virgin). One of the funniest movies I have seen in the last 5 years. Seth Rogan is my new favorite funny guy, second to Will Ferrell of course.

The Pianist (2002): Another masterpiece (of many) from director Roman Polanski. Starring Adrian Brody in one of his finest performances, watch "Dummy (2002)" for another. These two movies have made him a favorite actor of mine.

True Story #2: The Outsourced Pimento Cheese

I took a lunch break from work today and walked about a block to the Person Street Pharmacy conveniently located on, you guessed it, Person Street. I walked up to the counter and asked the lady if they made their own pimento cheese. While it may be a ridiculous question, it is a necessary one in the art of Grilled Pimento Cheese Sandwich (on whole wheat) ordering. Her response was "we have someone who does it for us". What? What does that even mean? "Are you telling me you outsource your pimento cheese spread? "That it is too troublesome to combine chopped up cheese, mayonnaise, pimentos, and pepper"? "Bull Malarky, i say". I didn't actually say that, but thought it after the fact. Anyway, for those of you who aren't familiar with food service lingo/jargan/shop talk, that means....."we buy it at the grocery store". I also noticed that it was in a Country Crock container, so either Country Crock has expanded their butter business to pimento cheese spread or whoever made it stored it in an empty butter vat. I have to assume Country Crock has risen the bar and moved onto bigger and butter things... (had to do it and no, I am not sorry). It was a great sandwich though and the ladies at the counter were nice, country folk and I recommend it to anyone who is a fan of lunch counters. It made me think of the days when I used to work in the food service industry and how I said what I needed to say in order to satisfy the customer. Basically feeding a complete stranger a spoonful of BS. Like when I would tell a guest that I was brewing a fresh pot of coffee for them. Translation, "Oops, I forgot about your coffee, which is why it is taking so long". Another is when they would ask about the qualities and characteristics of a certain wine, in which I would reply with something referring to "hints of oak and asparagus" or "touches of raspberries and sorgum syrup" or that "a party of four came in last night, ordered three bottles and loved it". Translation, "I have not a clue, but you should order four bottles to avoid being branded a tight wad". Although I could sense the restaurant BS from day one, and wanted out ASAP, I became a victim of the spoon feeding mentality in order to get a hefty tip and make the night as smooth, painless and quick as possible, emphasis on the word quick. It was an interesting time in my life, considering I am a genuine man. Sometimes you gots to do what you gots to do, know what I mean? In closing, I hope this entry has provided you with a bit of laughter and entertainment. If not, please let me know, and I will outsource the next one for better results.

It's time to bring the hammer down!!!

That title has nothing to do with what I am about to write, or does it?

I am listening to my friend's new music.

Simone, Teri, and Amy (and friends) are Rubies

A sweet and funky, old school disco, dance, new wave, pop smorgasbord of a band, out of Californ-I-A.

I have only heard a few jams from the new, soon to be released, full length, but it is enough to make me want to hear the rest.

"I Feel Electric" is, for a lack of less appropriate words, THE JAM!! A song that within the first twenty seconds makes you wanna super glue your repeat button, then tape it down with gaffers tape, never to be touched again. In other words, it makes me feel, well, electric.

"Stand in a Line" is classic Simone. Sung in that beautifully raspy voice. Honestly, words don't do it justice, you just have to meet her and hang with her and ask her to air drum for you and if your lucky jam and sing with her, then you'll know.

I have heard many of Simone's songs through the years. She has been crafting this kind of music for some time now, on the solo tip and with Call and Response, but Rubies takes it to a different level and emits a new charm. May I be the first to say, good job ladies!!

I am excited the hear the rest of the album and recommend jamming these tunes over and over.

Hey, while your at it, head on over to Sorcerer and let Dan's music rip you out into space on a vinyl surfboard made of vinyl. But that my friends, is for another blog.

Oswald the Great

Oswald Chambers is the man. This is a small piece of his mind.

http://www.rbc.org/utmost/index.php

July 4th, 2004

For anyone interested, I have posted a new song on myspace. It was written after a perfect day in NYC, July 4th, 2004. The weather, the company, the laughter and the East River fireworks were amazing. I will never forget it and thank God I was able to preserve it in a pop song.

Here you go:

Sweet Satu
by Seth Hall
http://www.myspace.com/themiddle8

True Story #1 - The Raw Bream

This is the first in a series of true stories from my life told when I remember them, as I remember them, with the purpose of providing some kind of comic relief, thought provoking drama, nail biting suspense and/or, God willing, spiritual insight. Enjoy.


The Raw Bream
by Seth Hall

When I was in middle school, I would sometimes hang out with the older kids from the neighborhood, you know play basketball, skateboard, fish or whatever. Well, on one hot summer day, during my 6th grade year (1986-87), I happened to be hanging with three of them. One was a year older, the other about two and "the leader" was three or four years older. We were down at Shelley Lake in North Raleigh fishing, when one of them decided to joke about me eating a fish from the lake. I quickly replied "yeah right, I'm not eating a fish from this disease ridden lake" or something of that nature. (I had probably never heard the term disease ridden before in my life, but we'll say I had for the story's sake :) Well, when I said that, it got the other two into it and they decided that I was going to eat a fish from that lake, and a raw fish at that!!! Someone had just caught a brim, (probably me since eating a raw fish you'd just caught would be the most humiliating thing ever!), when they dragged me to the woods and proceeded to surround me, forcefully saying, "Eat it, eat it", "Heck no" I said. "Eat it, eat it", "No way man, I am not eating that" I replied, so on and so forth for the longest 30 minutes of my life. The more I said no, the more they insisted (you know, classic neighborhood bully behaviour) until one genius said, "How about if we cook it". I was so relieved to be moving on to the next level, that I said "OK", thinking that would never happen since none of us had any fire and we were a long walk from home. That did not matter. One of them quickly got up and run all the way around the lake to his house, returning 30 minutes later with his Rambo knife, (the popular 80's novelty knife with a compass on the handle that would unscrew to reveal a "survival kit" which contained a string saw, a knife sharpener, needle and thread, some fish hooks and you guessed it matches). Upon sight my stomach turned to knots and I started to get worried..... In my head I thought, "this might actually happen, please God don't let this happen. I always throw your fish back, you know, to keep the population going. Please God don't let this happen". I don't know if I actually thought in terms of God during the 6th grade, but I was definitely freaking out and asking for some kind of miracle. Anyway, as the "survivalist" unscrewed the compass and took out the "survival kit", I saw a pack of about 10 matches. One by one they proceeded to strike those matches in hopes of starting a fire, but by the grace of God they all broke, everyone of them. No lie. It was a long drawn out process, but none of those matches did their job of producing fire for man. Following this, the three of them decided to give up on the whole idea of killing me through the consumption of raw or undercooked disease ridden fish and we embarked on our journey home.

On the way home I remember feeling relief coupled with anger and betrayal. How could these jerks live with themselves? What did I do to them to deserve this? I would never know. Although we were never really close friends, I continued to see those guys around the neighborhood and we had some good times doing what neighborhood kids do. Last I heard the first guy was an engineer with a wife and a whole mess a kids, the other was working in computers and the third, the "leader", was an ordained preacher. I can only imagine that service. A lesson in humility, an ungodly scheme failed. Looks like God has a plan after all and it happens to involve me not dieing that day in the woods. OK, a little over dramatic I know. It involves me not getting really sick in the woods. Is that better?

Side note: I've been meaning to write the company that produced those knifes and thank them for making such a terrible product and ripping my "friends" off.

Lesson learned: Pick better friends